Fight evil. Read a book!

Hi, I'm back from vacation! *waves*

Did y'all miss me? Did anything significant happen in your lives in the last two weeks? Did LJ do something wanktastic? Did someone famous die? (Farrah and MJ shuffled off the mortal coil right before I left.)

And Torchwood airs next week, right? Not that I have cable TV....

Check out my Real Life LJ for pictures and more details about the vacation, coming up soon.

I probably shouldn't say anything. I'm only vaguely aware of the wank, and I read the original (?) post that marksykins linked to.

I do take the issue of triggers very seriously, and I appreciate hearing that person's experience. I suspect part of the problem may be that people aren't sure what to warn for and how to do it. It's not like there's a universally agreed on practice.

And yet, to use her analogy, warning for triggers in fic is NOT the equivalent of warning for peanuts in a candy bar. Either a candy factory handles peanuts or it doesn't. But fiction is by definition open to interpretation.

( Examples from my fic )

What's wrong with you people? Do you think I'm not serious about the Torchwood/Wiggles vids? I am SO serious! I came up with another idea today. Here are the lyrics:

( Read more... )

Seriously, I am very serious! Someone please teach me how to make vids!

So -- at what age does a padawan start preschool?

Someone asked me today if he would be starting in the fall, and I was all, "Bwah--?" He'll be three at the end of November. Does that start to be preschool age? What the heck is preschool, anyway? Presumably it would be different from daycare? Do you have to do preschool? Is it an option, or is it required?

Although I do know that my state has public preschool now. When I taught in it, my youngest kid was not-quite-three. Most of the kids were three or four, as I recall.

Holy crap.

No, really! I've got the absolute perfect idea for a Torchwood fanvid. The perfect match of concept to song:

A vid about Myfanwy, set to The Wiggles' "Dorothy the Dinosaur."

Here's a vid of the song. It has a long introduction. The actual song doesn't start until around :40.



Here are the lyrics to the song:

I was lookin’ out my window
Late the other night ----> Ianto POV
She was sitting in the garden
and gave me such a fright
Eating all Mum’s roses ------> a shot of the flower Alt!Owen gave to Alt!Tosh?
there in the moonlight
It was Dorothy the Dinosaur
I knew that if Mum saw her ----> Gwen!
She’d never let her stay
A dinosaur as big as that -----> the space manatee from Meat
Needs feeding night and day
Id have to find a place -----> Hub shot
Where I could hide her away
Dorothy the Dinosaur -----> supplement pterodactyl footage from Jurassic Park films

I knew that she was so big
That she’d soon be found
My mother called the dog catcher ---> Gwen on phone; Jack
He came around
When he laid his eyes on her
He fell to the ground -------> Fragments; writes itself
“Now I take it that’s Dorothy the Dinosaur”

CHORUS

They called up the police -----> PC Andy!
To take her right away
They called up the zoo -----> The Pharm!
To find a place to stay
I said they couldn’t take her ----> Iconic "No" Ianto shot from EoD
I said “No way, that’s Dorothy the Dinosaur”

Admit it! It's perfect! The vid practially creates itself! Will someone PLEASE PLEASE make it for me? Otherwise, I'm gonna have to learn how to do this vidding thing myself. Is it really hard? Seriously, this vid absoulely MUST get made.

And I have other Wiggles/Torchwood ideas. There's a song called "Where's Jeff?" that could be the team wondering where Jack ran off to at the end of season one. And there's another sweet song about rain that could be cool - dedicated to the weather of Cardiff. I wonder if the Wiggles have written any songs about coffee or pizza? And of course there are lots of great songs about the Big Red Car. Too bad it's the wrong color....

No, I don't mean the padawan is now potty trained. (I wish!)

A while ago on my crunchy parenting board, someone posted an article about going shampoo-free. I was intrigued because, as you may recall, the padawan's hair is very dry. I have not used shampoo on him in over two years.

But my hair is oily. It never ocurred to me that I could go without shampoo myself. Yet I remember when I was a kid, people only bathed once a week, and my hair was not oily and gross then. So the article made me decide to try it.

(By the way, I don't have the link to the original article. Instead, check out this link to learn about it in more detail.)

( Resounding success! )

1. Maybe not a peeve, but you know how often in fanfics, Ianto and sometimes Gwen speak Welsh? I don't think I've ever seen a fanfic where Jack speaks it. Yet it seems to me more likely that Jack would speak it than Ianto or Gwen. Granted, I gather that the Welsh language is on the rise, so maybe Ianto and Gwen would have learned it. But seriously, Jack has been living in Wales for 150 years. Surely 150 years ago, more people spoke Welsh than speak it now? Or am I wrong? I mean, what else was Jack going to do while sitting around forever waiting for the Doctor? It seems like if Welsh was ever the dominant language in Wales while he was living there, he would have learned it, right?

And speaking of Jack in Victorian UK, it's got to have been tough for Mr Omnisexual to have come to that place at that time, when society was so sexually repressed. Poor boy! Which brings me to:

2. So Jack is omnisexual. Often fandom seems to interpret this as meaning Jack is incapable of fidelity/monogamy/serious relationships. But I don't buy that at all. It's like the myth that bisexuals are only happy if they have a partner of each sex. Bisexual does not automatically mean bigamous. Jack may or may not be interested in fidelity, but I don't buy that he's somehow incapable of it. Hence my next pet peeve:

3. Jealous!Jack. I'm pretty open to a wide range of interpretations of canon, peeve #2 notwithstanding. But Jealous!Jack? I don't see how people come up with that at all. That would be the height of hypocrisy, for Jack to expect a standard of fidelity from Ianto that he does not hold himself to. If Ianto showed an interest in someone else, if he had sex with someone else, heck, if he fell in love with someone else, I think Jack would say, "Go for it, tiger!" Rather, I think what Jack would truly fear is Ianto leaving him. After all, everyone leaves Jack eventually. That has to be a huge source of angst for him. And Jealous!Jack leads to:

4. Overprotective!Jack. Hooboy. You know, the Jack who wants to keep Ianto out of the field for fear he'll get hurt. The Jack who falls apart when Ianto gets a scratch. Are these people even watching the same show I am? When does Jack EVER get overprotective of anyone on his team? He knows they are all fully capable of taking care of themselves and getting the job done. And we've seen Ianto take a licking without Jack falling apart. I just read a fic recently where Ianto got punched, and Jack was all, "We have to get you to a hospital!" I think it's far more likely Jack would cheer Ianto on. "I bet the other guy looks worse!" and "I hope it leaves a scar; I dig scars." These boys' idea of a date is to take down Weevils together. You really think Jack is going to handle Ianto - or any of the team - with kid gloves?

5. Oh, it seems like I had another one, but I've forgotten what it was. So instead I'll share what I think is the sexiest Janto* scene in all of Torchwood: that scene in "Something Borrowed" where the two of them assemble the Big Gun. RrrAAAAwwwwrrr!

Okay, the kissing scene in the Tommy episode was pretty hot, too. But I love the Big Gun scene! As I said in my earlier Jack/Ianto meta post, that is the Janto* equivalent of Gwen and Rhys tickling each other in bed.

So what about you? What are your peeves? What do you think is the sexiest Janto* scene?


_________
*I can't believe I used that term. And again. And again.

Okay, so IF I decide to get kitties, what should I name them?

I had Torchwood names already picked out: Myfanwy and Janet! And the best part about it is that only true fans would get it.

But y'all prefer Harry Potter. So do you have any suggestions?

If I get one of the ginger ones, I was thinking of "Weasley" for a name. But I think the Hogwarts houses are also good names. I'm leaning toward Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Then there's always Neville and Luna.

Other suggestions?

A church member brought a crate of eight kittens she found in a park to church today, hoping to find homes for them. Lord almighty, but they are tiny!

You may or may not know that I had three cats. I put one to sleep a year ago last spring, and another died last summer. We are down to one cat, who is 13 years old. Fortunately, she's the one that gets along best with the padawan. He is quite rough with her, but if it gets to be too much, she just gets up and leaves. She has never scratched him or even hissed at him or anything.

I do want to get more cats eventually, and I have been pondering it. I even considered names! But it seemed like too much trouble, what with the padawan. Also, I am afraid he would be too rough with a kitten.

But folks at my church assured me that Sam is quite gentle with their pets when he visits them. So maybe he's just rough with Xena because she takes it. They also assured me that my older cat will take to the kittens.

So anyway, I'm thinking about it. I was thinking about one, then I thought I might take two since they are sibs and would get along well. Hopefully? Or is that just crazy? Should I only get one? Or should I get two?

I'm not sure if I want y'all to talk me into it, or out of it.

Poll #1415880
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Kittens!

If I do get kittens, here is another extremely important question:

Poll #1415881
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What fandom should I name them after?

On the "Wiggly Safari" CD, Steve Irwin says something in Australian that I don't understand. I mean, I get it from the context, but the words mean nothing at all to me. I'm hoping someone from Down Under can explain to me?

Here's the lyric:

You silly galah, I'm better by far
Than a white cockatoo or a budgerigar

They squeak and squawk and try to talk
Why, me and them's like cheese and chalk.

Thank you!

Also, the padawan and I are very funny. When we sing "Old MacDonald," the farm is clearly a wildlife ranch in Texas. It includes the usual cows, ducks, and sheep, but also hippopotamuses, giraffes, zebras, kookaburras, dingos, and snakes. We also added a Crocodile Hunter (with a "danger, danger!" here), the Wiggles (individually as well as collectively) and Captain Feathersword (and a "Ahoy there, me hearties!" there). The padawan thinks this is outrageously funny, but what I think is funny is hearing him talk in piratespeak.

Does anyone know anything about accidents at monster truck jams?

Needless to say, Sam is fascinated by monster trucks. We looked them up on YouTube, though, and found a compilation of footage of accidents, including one where it looked like the truck ran into the stands. We had to stop the video because both he and I got scared. Now I'm kinda freaked out.

I gather that trucks pop their wheels and crash fairly often? But usually no one is hurt? Are accidents - particularly involving spectators - rather rare? How often are the drivers themselves severely hurt? A Google search simply turns up video footage of trucks wiping out.

I've always wanted to go to a monster truck jam, and I'm willing to take Sam, except a) I'm afraid it will be too loud for him, and b) I don't want to take him if we're likely to see serious accidents. The Wiggles seem much safer. I doubt the Big Red Car ever flips over, explodes, or careens out of control into the audience.

So I have this new idea about how to get me to do aerobic exercise. Cos the videos are inevitably boring.

My sis gave me a couple of "Bollywood" workout videos. I ADORE Bollywood musical numbers. I can usually do without the movies themselves, but the music number are always knock-outs. Don't believe me? Check out this one. They're dancing on top of a train. A real. Moving. TRAIN.



(That vid features Shah Rukh Khan, who is like the God of Bollywood. Personally, I don't find him that attractive, but he's in almost everything.)

Anyway, the videos my sis gave me turned out to be a disappointment. It has Bollywoodish-sounding music with some vaguely Bollywoodish moves, but nothing even remotely approaching a real, genuine, hot-blooded Bollywod dance. And that got me thinking: why settle for a pale imitation, when I could get the real thing?

So I want to amass a collection of actual Bollywood numbers and just jam to them, imitating the moves. I'm now figuring out how to make a playlist on YouTube. Bollywood workout at my beck and call!

So I'm soliciting y'all to see if any of you have favorite Bollywood songs that you would recommend. What about it? Got any suggestions?

So now it appears that the DVD for Torchwood 3 will be released on July 28?!?!?! It hasn't showed up on amazon.com yet, but if that's true, I can prolly manage to wait to buy my own copy. After all, it would take about that long for me to get copies of it from y'all anyway.

Think they'll air the episodes online? Like they do with Masterpiece Theater? That would be sweet.

So, it's looking like Torchwood 3 is going to air in July. Unless it's in June. I'm still confused. Anyway, it doesn't really matter to me, since I don't have cable TV.

I am therefore wondering if any of you kind and lovely people would be willing to tape it for me when it does finally air? Or whatever it is people do with the modern new-fangled televisionators these days.

Don't worry, it's not piracy! I will buy it when it finally comes out, but until then must I be Torchwood-deprived? It's not fair!

And also, all of y'all said in my poll that you wanted me to post Jack/Ianto meta. I did, but darththalia was the only one to respond. Did anyone actually read it? *cries because no one else left comments*

And has anyone listened to the audiobooks? Are they as good as the paper books? I don't mean the recordings of the paper books. Rather, there are several books that were released only in audio format. Were they good, or did they suck like "Lost Souls" sucked? Because really, "Lost Souls" sucked!

And while I'm at it, y'all have seen those pictures, haven't you? *droooolz* I mean, fandom photoshopping is always lovely, but isn't it so cool that we don't need photoshop to feed our slashy needs? That The Powers That Be will supply us with the yummy? Gawd, it's amazing. The 21st century is when everything changes, indeed!

I'm kinda surprised nobody voted against this. I feel like I've come so late to the fandom, surely this has all been rehashed so many times. Then again, it is fandom, and we never tire of yakking about our fanlove. Be warned, though. It's really frikkin long.

I've now seen all episodes of both seasons a couple of times, and I've also seen all the Jack/TW-related Who episodes. ( read on for brilliant meta! )

Poll #1406867
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Jack/Ianto?

SoulForce

If homosexuality was a sin: a possibly Christian response

So, those of y'all who know me from yore know that I have long thought it stupid to rate fics using a movie rating system. Pointless. Useless. Ridiculous.

Well, I suddenly thought of a new rating. If I ever write fanfic again, I will rate it: NCC-1701.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

(Plz note this does not mean I have any intention of EVER writing ANY sort of Star Trek fanfiction WHATSOEVER. NEVER.)

In other news, I want to write some meta. But what to write??? A coupla things are on my mind of late.

Now that I've seen all the shows, read all the books, watched vids, plowed my way through 69-chapter-long fanfics, and read meta galore, I want to write my Definitive Jack/Ianto Meta that Explains Everything. Definitively!

And while not quite jumping on the Prop 8 bandwagon, I really want to write about an upcoming action here in my fair city by SoulForce, the nonviolent gay rights organization (and whose current director was the straw that broke this camel's back in deciding me that I wanted to adopt! Okay, that probably doesn't make any sense.) Anyway, they've got an action coming up here, and from both a nonviolent standpoint and a gay rights standpoint, I think it is very problematic.

Thirdly, I've been pondering writing up what I would consider to be a legitimate view of Christians viewing homosexuality as a sin. Plz note that I am myself a Christian and do NOT believe it is a sin, but we all know that some Christians do. So this would be me spelling out what I would consider to be a properly Christian approach if you did believe homosexuality is a sin. Erm, does that make any sense?

So! What should I write about?



Jack/Ianto?
Hell, yeah! Cos we can never get too much of them, and whatever you say will be brilliant
God, no! We're sick to death of them!


SoulForce
Yes! It sounds very interesting
No. What the hell are you talking about?


If homosexuality really was a sin: a possibly Christian response
Hmm. Your idea intrigues me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter
No. Just - no.



Edit: Poll reposted in separate entry. It doesn't seem to be working here.

Torchwoody. Specifically, fannish issues that I just don't get.

Like this one, mentioned in a recent post to torchwood_house about "Jack's behavior with Gwen in 'Meat.'" Granted, there's one bit that I could see Ianto getting peeved about: the whole speech in the boardroom about how "love makes you vulnerable." In fact, there's some interesting meta to be written about how Jack and Ianto work together in that episode, compared to Gwen and Rhys. Is it any mistake that the two people who get taken as hostage are Ianto and Rhys? Anyway. That speech is apparently not the one many fans have a problem with. Rather it's the bit at the end where Gwen says she won't retcon Rhys and Jack yaps about how he would miss her if she left Torchwood. But I don't get it. Why would that upset Ianto? I think Jack would say the same thing to any of them if they threatened to leave. I bet he was secretly thinking it when he sacked Owen, even though Owen was challenging his authority much more directly. Why is that supposed to be such a Ianto!angst-inducing moment?

Another big one that has launched many fics is the "who did you last snog" game in "Countrycide." Because OMG! Ianto said Lisa, not Jack! And did you see that hurt look Jack gives him??? Poor Jack!

Uhmmm...what? First of all, that wasn't a snog in "Cyberwoman," that was just Captain Jack's extra-sexy version of mouth to mouth. Heck, Ianto was unconscious through the whole thing. By the time he revived, Jack stopped kissing him. So....eh? And as for Jack, you really expect me to believe he got his feelings hurt? I thought his expression was more like, "Oh shit, did we have to bring up the Evil Girlfriend that I personally had to kill several times in a very bloody manner?" In fact, no one seems to notice that Jack does NOT say Ianto was his last snog.

Third is the whole "OMG, how could Jack have just left at the end of series one without leaving a note?"

Again - what? He's been waiting almost 150 years for the Doctor to show up. The Doc clearly was trying to get out of there as fast as he could. Jack barely had time to grab the creepy hand-in-the-jar. Writing a note would surely be the last thing on his mind.

Not that I don't think the team has every right to be upset about Jack's sudden departure, but come on. This is the same team that had just mutinied against him. And by the time Jack comes back, I just can't see Ianto hanging on to, "But you didn't leave me a note!" They've got plenty of bigger fish to fry.

Seems like there are some other fannish hang-ups that I don't get either, but I can't recall them off-hand. Do y'all have any? Or do you care to explain why I should be hung up on the above issues?

Why do I keep posting Wiggles stuff over here instead of on my real life journal? Because a) this really is sort of fannish, and b) there are more of y'all here. So, poll:

Poll #1405535
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Are all the Wiggles fans on my fannish journal also on my RL life journal?

Should I move this damned Wiggles bullshit over to my RL journal?

Meanwhile, let me entertain you with a fake Wiggles meme - you know those things, "Which Wiggle are you?" But this is fake because a) I don't know how to make one o' them memes, and b) seeing as how the Wiggles are based on simplicity, I'm not sure how subtle or effective a Wiggles meme would be. So instead, consider this an entertaining adventure in Wiggly fun.

( cut to spare the uninterested )

I couldn't resist. I had to hunt down the song. This is the only vid I could find of it, and the song doesn't actually start until about 1:15 into the clip. Here you get to see Dorothy in all her gag-reflex horribleness, and yet admit it: THIS SONG ROCKZZ!!